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Friday, April 22nd, 2005
11:43 pm
[friends only: snitch, blink]

JARED INVITED ME TO PROM EEEEEE YAY TOOK HIM LONG ENOUGH!!!!! Okay. Big questions now arise. Such as, do I buy him flowers or do I assume he's going to take care of this? I'd ask him but he's all cute and frazzled right now with something he's writing and he looks so CUTE when he writes with his forehead all scrunched up!!!! But yeah. Help me out? What are you guys doing about flowers?

current mood: question marks above my head

(16 comments | comment on this)

Sunday, April 17th, 2005
12:57 pm
Happy birthday to the sweetest kindest most perfect guy in the entire world... you're amazing and I'm so lucky to have you. Every day you make worth living and I can't believe that someone as incredible as you would stay with me. You make the Earth spin and you're just so wonderful and gorgeous and fantastic and I adore you more than you know. You are the best thing in my life. I can't even say how much you mean to me because there aren't enough words. Just...

I love you.

current mood: in love

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Saturday, April 9th, 2005
7:09 pm
Snitch--

I'm talking to Holley right now on the phone because her AIM is messing up and plus she couldn't remember how "Keep It Gay" from The Producers goes so I had to call her to sing it to her. Anyhow. I told her about how you like that crazy VVBD group or whatever and now she's all excited. And then I told her about how you like Arrested Development too and she's like screaming my ear off with stuff I DON'T UNDERSTAND like George Michael (the singer????) being all insestuous (however you spell that) and liking ...someone I don't know how to spell that name you silly girl!!! She keeps repeating the name at me like her saying it thirty times is gonna make me magically know how to spell it. WHICH IS NOT WORKING. And she wants to know what you think about Tobias's wife going out with Ellen DeGeneres (WHAT?!?!?!) and she's all super excited and I don't know what she's babbling about at all.

I don't even know.

But you two apparently have very much in common.

And you need to respond to this FAST because she's waiting for responses and she won't let me get off the phone until she gets your opinions on all matters or something.

current mood: confused

(32 comments | comment on this)

Sunday, April 3rd, 2005
4:23 pm
Snitch!!!! I just heard on the downlow sneaky theatre community grapevine that there are gonna be auditions for Blast! You should SOOOO try out!!!!!!!!! It's not gonna be with the school but like out in the town, like 42nd Street was for me ya know, and you should TOTALLY go for it cuz it'd be awesome!!! That's the show that you like right???

I gotta go do homework but let me know if you have questions!!!! Auditions are like in two weeks. On me and Jared's birthdays!!! the 16th and 17th! WEEE!!! OMG I'm almost 17 that's soooo old!!! hehehe but anyway you should definitely try out because it'll be awesome!!!!!!

PS Jared, my ma is super excited for this summer, hahahaha she's like ... cleaning our room. which is scary cuz paul still has stuff from like when he lived at home there. But she's all super happy!! This summer is gonna be so much fun!!!!! :D

current mood: weee!

(30 comments | comment on this)

Wednesday, March 30th, 2005
9:02 pm
[friends only: skittery]

Hey, Jared... how was your day?

I'm just guessing that if I feel this shitty, you must feel like thirty million katrillion times worse.

(14 comments | comment on this)

Monday, March 28th, 2005
12:40 am
[private entry: blink]

BLLLLLIiiiiiiinkkkkkkkk!!!! howw rae yu feeeeelling today??????????? iam soryr i wasnt heere allday!!!!!:(:(!!! buut the shw was GOOD hehahahaha adn but hwo areYOU??? do you feell bettre???

ioh iho i hopeso! hop so! hope so!!!

(14 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005
5:59 pm
[friends only: skittery & blink]

Hey Jared and Blinkles--

I just remembered I didn't tell you guys about the kickass cast party on Saturday night since our last show is Sunday's matinee. It's gonna be at Kevin's house and word on the street from people who have gone to past parties by Kevin (like 3/4 of our cast has worked together in the past, haha) is that they're amazingly awesome. He has an indoor pool and hot tub and everyone gets drunk and hangs out all night and then performs the show the next afternoon completely hung over, hahaha!!!! We're supposed to bring "at least 2 other people" and so I want to bring you guys! I know that you're going to Snitch's on Sunday, babe, but we don't have to get trashed out of our minds or anything, we can go light on the booze. C'moooon, you guys know you wanna come... HOT TUB!!!! :D You can invite Race if you want to Blinkles, but I think he's really mad at me so I didn't want to say anything in case he bit my head off or something. :( The more the merrier though!!!! It'd make me really happy and would mean a lot to me if you guys came. :) And you don't even have to come to the show if you don't want to (ahaha, especially Jared, since you've come three times already hahaha), I could come back to school after the show's over and come pick you guys up and then we could go. :D

PLEASE?!?!?!?! It'll be mad wicked fun! REALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D

current mood: hopeful

(31 comments | comment on this)

Monday, March 21st, 2005
12:15 am
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RACEYTRACKY!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Let me know when a good time is to bring your present by!!!!!!!!!!!!

XD XD XD XD

i love birthdays!!!!!

current mood: energetic

(1 comment | comment on this)

Sunday, March 20th, 2005
12:45 am
[friends only: tag blocked]

hafuhaahahahahahaaaaaa my brueother brother gots meand jaaaaarrreeeeddddddddddddddd :D :D :D:D ilvoe your naem ahahaha but laaayrr lrary larry goooot us alchool!!!! looootslotslotslottsslotsltos of it!!!! haaaaahahahahaaahahahaha i gett sooooo muhc more too dreink wehn theres a shoow taht im in!!!!! aaaaaahahahahaaaaa.

bliiiiiiinnnnnnnnkkkkk wharee wereh weerhe where ddi youuu gooooo???

ahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaailovehjarded jareddddddd :D :D :DD: D:D: D:D ahahahahahaaaaaaaaa eh is soooo passssed otu on myy bed! heeheahaha it iss so cuuute. hsi haiir isall mssed up!!! my famly lykes himSOOOOOMUUUUUCH. anddddd ME i LOOOOVE hiim. soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much liek that!!!!!!!

hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

oaky timeto go join hiiiiim. SLEEP=GOOD.

niiiiiiiiihgt!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D:DD:;D

current mood: drunk

(2 comments | comment on this)

Wednesday, March 16th, 2005
8:08 pm
[friends only: skittery]

....I've been thinking, and I have a really strange suggestion. But I'm not sure I should say it. Ahahaha. It's... a little out there. Even for me.

So let me know if you're feeling adventuresome or not. ahaha.

:D

Love you!

current mood: amused

(20 comments | comment on this)

2:21 am
[friends only: snoddy]

Can we talk? I kinda think we need to.

Oh. and. um. you might want to avoid Skitts for a while. Just so you know.

I'm pulling an all-nighter if you're still up, but you prolly aren't cuz everyone else went to bed. So you should come find me tomorrow or... something?

Yeah. Okay. :) Have a nice one.

current mood: listless

(2 comments | comment on this)

12:10 am
[friends only: blink]

I'm eating banana bread. It came in a package from my ma today. It's really good. You should come steal some before I eat it all. It's yummylicous!!! XD

Anyhow. Aha. That's not the real reason I'm writing this.

I just wanted to say thanks for talking to me last night and you were right and I'm really really lucky to have a best friend who's you. I've been so lucky this year to find the best best friend ever and the best boyfriend ever too. Just know how much I treasure having you around and how much you mean to me. :D

Thanks again, Blinkles. <3!

current mood: grateful

(16 comments | comment on this)

Monday, March 14th, 2005
9:45 pm
[friends only: skittery]

Skittery why are you ignoring me I don't know what to do or what I did and I am sorry and don't be mad at me because I love you and don't do this please please please just open your door and let me come talk to you don't be mad pleaaaaase I love you

current mood: worried

(12 comments | comment on this)

Sunday, March 13th, 2005
4:44 pm
...I love you.




:D



God, I really, really, really do.

current mood: content

(1 comment | comment on this)

Saturday, March 12th, 2005
7:12 pm
So last night was awesome oh my god i was a little nervous before but then i was like "no need to worry cuz your friends are out there watching and screw jeff sellers" and then i was okay! :D plus I had my lucky shoelace tied around my right thigh which i mean, i can't do anything wrong if i have that, so yeah. Sooooo the show was awesome, not to be all vain or whatever but I think I seriously kicked ass, I was just so ON and it was fantastic and I got all my dances right (well, duh) but that wasn't even the best part, cuz when i took my final bow and everyone was clapping and standing ovationing and stuff haha then my brothers came up and gave me flowers!!! and i had no idea they were coming!!!!!!!!! they did it secretly, but i think ma made them cuz she felt bad that she couldn't come, but then larry's girlfriend pamela later was like "micah, i totally picked the wrong brother, if you weren't a minor, i would so steal you." and it was funny because skittery glared at her and it made me laugh. but my brothers came!!!!!!! and they didn't even pick on me as much as normal cuz i think cuz i did a good job in the show hahahaha. usually they would've shoved me down stairs or something. haha! And Skittery got me flowers too but they were a lot prettier than the ones that my brothers got me and they made me *so* happy like hardcore happy :D Plus Skitts looked super cute all dressed up. Mmmmm.

but THEN after i changed and went to go find everyone like my brothers and skitts and blinkles and race in the lobby, then i did but i barely had time to kiss skittery (which i did, and i got makeup all over him HAHAHAHAHAHAHA it was... almost pretty... hahahaha) but then i looked over and JEFF SELLERS was standing there with MICHAEL GREIF who is the DIRECTOR of Rent. and I was like "AHHHH" and my heart totally stopped but then they came over and Jeff was like "are you even the same boy as before???" and he was all going on and on about what a good job i did and i was like OMG and then Mr. Greif was like "i have waited so long to see you perform again" and I was like HUH but then he held up the playbill from the show I did when i was SIX. And I had autogrpahed it hahahahahaha in big letters cuz I barely knew how to write back then and it was soooo funny. they went all over the page. hahahaha. Like half of it was covered with my big lettered name and I forgot the H in Micah. Hahahahahaha. But he was like "as soon as Jeff said he'd seen a show with this kid who was really young as the lead and i asked your name and when he said it, i knew immediately who he was talking about cuz i'd been waiting forever for Micah Meyers to come back to the public" and i was like "WHAT?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!" and omg and he said that when i was younger i was the only reason why my show ran so long because the rest of the cast sucked and the storyline sucked but i was good. and oh my GOD it was fucking amazing. I mean. Fucking Michael Greif. Plus fucking Jeff Sellers thinking I'm good now.

AND. THE BEST PART. They offered to let me have an INTERNSHIP at the Nederlander this summer. I SPEND ALL MY TIME THERE ANYWAY!!!!!!!! I dunno it might not really happen but OMG if it DOES that would just ROCK.

And I think I did really good. It's real bad of me to talk like that I know but I do think I did good. :D :D :D

OMG. Oh yeah so if anyone else wants to go, Blink and Skitts say it's good and it would make me happy and I'll get you tickets if you wanna come and please do cuz it's fun. So let me know. :D

current mood: HAPPYHAPPYHAPPY!

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Friday, March 11th, 2005
8:26 am
OMG OPENING NIGHT OPENING NIGHT OPENING NIGHT

I'M NOT EVEN NERVOUS ANYMORE JUST SUPER EXCITED OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU GUYS TO SEE THE SHOW YAY!!!!!!!!!

How the hell am I supposed to concentrate in school today? That's right, I can't. aha.

OPENING NIGHT TONIGHT!!!!!

current mood: excited

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Wednesday, March 9th, 2005
9:55 pm
[friends only: blink]

Blink what is wrong with me and why can't Skittery fall in love with me and am I that bad or unloveable or something and why because it's not fair and it makes me really sad and worried and I don't like this at all and why can't he just love me?

I can't even focus on the homework that i really really need to do because it's extra credit for history so I won't fail anymore but I just can't do it cuz I can't stop thinking about him and how he doesn't love me and how much I love him and how much it hurts and I hate it and this is such a mess and am I really just this hard to love????????

current mood: bad

(26 comments | comment on this)

12:02 pm
[private entry]

Forgoing lunch to sneak in the library to write an entry. Anyway.

Rehearsals=much better. Skittery is so great, he makes me feel so much better about myself after that asshole Jeff Stupid Sellers made me feel like a worthless piece of shit. Anyhow. I'm a little exhausted by extra practices and last-minute changes (why oh WHY do directors feel the need to change something you've been doing since Day One as soon as it becomes three days before the show goes on?!?! BLAH) and stuff but ya know the show is like second nature anymore, so that's not bad. I couldn't mess up my lines if I tried, I don't think. Yeah. And my costumes are fun and the dancing is of course awesome, so yay. I just hope I'm okay on Friday night. But it'll be nice knowing that Skitts and Blink will be in the audience. I hope that they're proud of me... hmm, that's kinda weird, isn't it, to want your friends to be PROUD of you? Like, they're not my ma or anything, and she's like the only person I know who's told me how "proud" she is of me I guess, I mean other people say like "Good job, you were wonderful blah blah blah" or whatever but it's kinda weird that I want my friends to be proud of me too. Maybe. I dunno.

Skittery said he was going to give me a present on Friday night. It's a bad thing to TELL me I'm getting presents, because then I start thinking about it all the time and imagining what i'm gonna get. And that's bad. ...It's been like, a long time since I told him I loved him, and he still doesn't say it back. And... God it's so stupid but that would be the best present. Ya know? So I made up this whole damn fantasy about him saying it on Friday night and so then when he doesn't I'm just gonna be disappointed even though whatever the hell he *does* give me will be fantastic but I'll still be disappointed because I don't WANT any stupid material things from him, all I want is for him to just... feel like I do. Oh God I'm so stupid. I know he cares about me. I do. He says he does. But... oh why does there always have to be a but?!?!?!?!?! Lord. I just started thinking the other day how when we have sex, he tells me I'm gorgeous. And I like being told I'm gorgeous, really I do cuz I'm like vain or whatever. But the only problem is that that's what everyone ELSE has said too. I mean, all my old stupid boyfriends who don't matter. But he doesn't follow it up with "I love you" and that's the problem because I *do* love him and so what if sex means like SO MUCH MORE to me than it does to him? It's different now. It's not just because I'm bored or horny or whatever. It means something and I love that it does and that it's so incredible and happy and fantastic but what if to him it's just still because he's bored or horny and it's just... I don't know how to make him love me either. The other boyfriends all said it so fast. Like, almost immediately after the first time we slept together, nearly every time, and if not right at that time than they said it really quick afterwards. And I'd be like "Hee someone loves me yay I'm loveable!" but I never said it back and now I know how shitty it is and I don't like it. And how do you make someone love you? How long is it supposed to take? I tried giving him presents. Lots of them. I tried dressing up for him and dressing down for him and undressing for him too. I tried doing my hair. I downplayed my cologne cuz he doesn't like colognes like at all. I gave him the best fucking blowjob of his life. And none of it is working!! I just... it's been so long since I've said it to him and he hasn't said it back and when do you know it's time to give up and that it's just never gonna happen? I don't wanna give up on him but if he's never gonna love me back then are we just wasting our damn time?

...Oh my God just the thought of breaking up with him makes me sick to my stomach. I'm in too far with this one. If this doesn't work out, I don't know what I'll do. Oh lord. What have I done to myself?! I liked it better before love was here. Goddamn.





Why can't he just love me? Am I really that hard to love? I never thought so before. I mean, I'm cheerful and happy and pretty and nice and what else do I have to be for him to just fucking love me back?

Uh-oh. Caught. Aaaaaaaaand to lunch I go.

current mood: drained

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Monday, February 28th, 2005
3:14 pm
[friends locked: skitts and blink]

hey i just wanted to know if you guys would please please please come to opening night because you two won't let me quit and that's when jeffrey sellers stupidness is coming back and so i need to know that someone in the audience is not hating me or else i won't be able to get through it at all and it would mean a lot to me and please? i mean i'll buy your tickets and everything i just wanted to check and make sure that was okay please let me know.....


ps blink i'm really glad that your grandpa's okay :) that's *so* great. I was so worried........

anyhow just let me know, please... it would mean a lot to me if you guys were there cuz you two are like my two favorite people and my ma can't even be there for opening night cuz she has to work and yeah i just need someone who doesn't want me to fall flat on my face to be there so please?!?!

current mood: needy

(25 comments | comment on this)

Friday, February 25th, 2005
5:45 pm
[private entry]

don't freak out don't freak out dont' freak out don't freak out dorn't freak out

it's not the end of the world

just the end of your LIFE............

current mood: horrified

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